Hey guys, and welcome to my journal.
When I started this blog, I told myself I wanted to be real, open, and honest. So… this post might get real, quite quickly.
I think I might be struggling with depression. I’m not completely sure, but it’s something I’ve felt for a long time now, and I can’t really ignore it anymore.
For years, I’ve tried to figure out why I feel this way. And lately, I keep coming back to the same thought:
Maybe it’s not just me.
Maybe it’s the way we’re living.
Life these days is fast, busy, and always asking more from us. And somewhere along the way, I think we’ve become disconnected — from ourselves, from each other, and from the world around us.
There’s this empty space inside… not physical, but something just as real. And we try so hard to fill it.
We buy things, thinking they’ll make us feel better — and they do… for a little while. Then it fades, and we look for the next thing.
Sometimes it’s not things, but distractions, habits, or things that aren’t actually good for us.
But no matter what we try, nothing really fills that space for long.
The more I think about it, the more I feel the answer might actually be simpler than we think.
Maybe we’re not meant to thrive on consuming.
Maybe we’re meant to thrive on connection.
- Connection to the land
- Connection to animals
- Connection to purpose
- Connection to God
And maybe that’s what’s been missing all along.
So… this is where my journey begins.
I’m choosing to rewild my life.
How I’m planning to Rewild my Life
Okay, so… I’m on a journey. A mission, if we must call it that.
Because if I’m being honest, my life feels a bit deurmekaar at the moment — messy and unorganised, to say the least. I often feel lost, and a little out of place in this busy, fast-moving world.
For the longest time, I thought I was just lazy.
But lately, I’m starting to question that.
Because when I really think about it…
I don’t jump on the next trend.
I don’t do all the things modern moms say are a “must”.
And I avoid going into town as much as I can.
And maybe that doesn’t mean I’m lazy. Maybe it just means I don’t want to live that way. Maybe it means I don’t want to run the rat race.
I don’t want the constant rushing, the pressure, the noise. I want something slower. Something more meaningful. Something that feels real and grounded.
Something more… back to basics.
So instead of trying to force myself to fit into a life that doesn’t feel right… I’m choosing to build one that does.
Not all at once. Not perfectly. Just slowly, and intentionally.
Here’s what that looks like for me right now:
I want to spend more time outside.
Nothing fancy or complicated — just being in the sun, feeling the air, getting my hands in the soil. Even if it’s just a few quiet minutes a day, I think that kind of connection matters.
I want to start growing things.
Even if it’s small. A few herbs, some vegetables… something I can care for and watch grow. Something real. And then start saving seeds, so that I can continue growing plants season after season without needing to rebuy everything.
I want to slow down my days.
Less rushing. Less trying to do everything all at once. More being present in what I’m actually doing — whether it’s cooking, cleaning, or just sitting for a moment.
I want to consume less.
Less buying just for the sake of it. Less chasing that quick feeling of “this will make me happy.” And more appreciating what I already have.
I want to create more.
Using my hands, making things, trying simple projects — not because they have to be perfect, but because it feels good to make something from nothing.
I want to reconnect with my faith.
Not in a pressured or complicated way. Just quietly, honestly… finding my way back to God in the middle of everyday life.
And maybe most importantly…
I want to stop fighting who I am.
Maybe I was never “lazy.” Maybe I just needed a different kind of life. One that’s slower, softer, more connected.
This is what rewilding my life looks like for me — at least for now.
And I am sure that it will change and grow along the way… just like I will.
Final thought
If any if this resonates with you — even just a little — just know you’re not alone.
Maybe you’re also feeling a bit deurmekaar. Maybe you’re also tired of trying to keep up with a life that doesn’t quite fit.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. I definitely don’t.
But maybe we can start small… together. Slowing down. Choosing connection over consumption. Finding our way back to something that feels a little more real.
This is just the beginning for me.
And if you want to follow along, I’d really love to have you here.
